Lots of times, I know I should be doing one thing but I find myself resisting and doing something completely different and unrelated.
I should have been running errands, cleaning the house, editing, calling or writing people back and etc but I found myself driving towards the Sunset, anxious to snap a mental picture of such fleeting beauty (that I seem to altogether miss almost always) and then, snap an actual picture of it.
Since the full moon last week, I’ve been in a funny mood. There’s something to be said about the swollen yellow tinged Moon that stares down so intensely at you as if watching your every mood. Am I paranoid? Perhaps. My bff used to work in the ER and tells me that Full Moons would see an influx of Crazies coming in for all sorts of things. Also, “Full Moons Make Me Crazy”
I’ve had Lana Del Rey on repeat, driving aimlessly away from my original destinations and then, there are times like today when I feel compelled to drive towards the glittering Sun, waving Goodbye. I’m a strange creature who is so afraid of the dark, yet stubbornly nocturnal, dreading bed time as if I really believe that I’ll miss out on something if I go to bed. There’s a reason that they say “nothing good ever happens past two.” I know this. Adolescent me knows that only too well! (lol)
I woke up the other morning, having been chased by Zombies in my dreams. I also have these recurring dreams where everything is greatly slanted. Like a stadium where the seats are screwed on a great diagonal from low to high but in my dream, everything is like that and you even have to walk that way to abide by the order of that realm. In that realm, apparently everything is slanted. Yesterday morning, I woke up crying. Real tears that saturated my pillow case. I woke up realizing that I was crying but not knowing why. Of course, the curious Squishy Monster that I am Googled it. Sometimes, Google is my only friend. The aforementioned dreams are all connected to some sort of repressed trauma, reviving itself in my sub conscious in an attempt to resurface in reality and meet some sort of resolution. I am unaware past that point.
However, I’m anticipating tonight’s Dreams. I’m always fascinated by my own Dreams. They’re like Movies that I didn’t have to pay a ticket for.
Here’s to hoping I don’t have any dreadful ones tonight!
Your Squishy Monster