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Brokenness

I had a fabulous weekend. I ate good food, dodged a treacherous camping trip, watched a movie, reconnected with old friends, and got new tires (finally, after 2 months)! However, I don’t know what was so special about this weekend, but I got to chat with so many different people and caught a glimpse into their lives. It’s crazy how different everyone’s lives are. What makes a person tick, what turns a person on, how a person operates or functions…it’s fascinating. I guess that’s why I pursued the human condition in university. I talked to a man who wanted for nothing from the material world but inside, was so desperately lonely. Wealth bought him an abundance of shiny things but no one to scuff them up with. He is afraid that no one really knows him or if they really even like him for him. Money intimidated those around him and no one would speak the truth and so to combat the loneliness, he shrouded himself with tiny monuments and pillars of gold. Another woman is sucking the precious marrow from her husbands bones and is laughing about it and from the outside, it all looked so sparkling. It was the American dream to desire. White picket fence, 2.5 kids, even a golf course for dad, a sports car for mom and an electric scooter for the littlest one. It wouldn’t be something (gorgeous show kitchen aside) I’d be so quick to cast into the gutter in my mid-30′s (there are children to consider!) but somehow, a youthful spirit that is free to roam like a nomad is what the mom is chasing after instead while the faces of her little ones dim by the minute. My school advisers always told me before I graduated that even if you’re qualified, it will always seem like a potential employer will ask to see that one thing you don’t have. Maybe life is like that. You’re fine, fine, fine, and then someone comes around and tells you that you’re lacking something and so spurs the pursuit of a standard of happiness that was arbitrarily set in the first place. Are people broken because they’re told by others or by themselves that the exclusion of one thing or another brings about unhappiness? Is it like the holy grail or philosopher’s stone? Does a unsuccessful scavenger hunt lead to brittle bones and ultimately lead to brokenness? Someone also told me this weekend that life was too long. I mean, I guess it could be? To me, it’s too short. No sense in chasing after a cup or a stone that may or may not be there, be happy with the gifts you’ve been given. To wish you were something else is squandering what you already are. Now, before you dub me as “too preachy,” consider this: there are days that are difficult for all of us, sometimes I can’t even leave the house because my anxiety is so gripping but you must take that first step (both figuratively and literally). Why dwell on unhappiness? Why not strive to be happy? I get messages all the time, some tinged with slight annoyance about how upbeat and perky I am. I’m no energizer bunny but to allow negativity to fester and bleed is to accept the invitation for your soul to begin to atrophy and eventually die. The movie I watched this weekend was Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, now you may watch it and think it’s crap or that it’s the best thing ever but for me, it was good. I certainly wasn’t regretting the purchase price of the ticket but wasn’t jumping up and down in my seat either but it did outline what one might do when faced with impending doom, i.e. the Apocalypse. Some people pillage and wreck havoc, others adopt a sudden hedonist lifestyle, others rock back and forth with regret and drown in tears…whether you believe in God or an afterlife, wouldn’t you want to spend your last moments with the people you love? Even if imminent death isn’t present, why shouldn’t you live life like that? The sex and drugs I get, even the sobs, but the pillaging I don’t so why pillage your own life (in a sense). The joker said, “some men just want to watch the world burn.” Now really, where’s the sense in that? It’s true but completely nonsensical in my book. Burn it all and you have nothing left. Friend #1 has no one to love, friend #2 wants to push away those that do love her, in either case, it isn’t a Ferrari nor is it a new found sense of youth that matters in the end so stop stressing, my friends and enjoy the gifts you have and the people in your life because this little Squishy Monster really believes that’s what matters most.

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17 thoughts on “Brokenness

  • CCU says:

    This was quite a profound post my friend – it was beautiful to read. I too do not understand – when life is almost perfect, why look for signs of darkness fusing your own light?

    Cheers
    CCU

  • Charles says:

    I think everyone could (should) learn to get by with a little less to be honest. I have to say though that I don’t “live hard”. I like to sit on my couch and nap in the evenings… no hedonistic lifestyle for me!

  • sooae says:

    awe so glad to hear you had a great weekend just RELAXING. I agree, it’s quite fascinating hearing and seeing people in their different walks of life. One of my fave things to do is get to know others, and people watch~hehehe xx
    http://www.thehautecookie.com

  • Lester. says:

    Yes. I totally agree with you Angie. Have a lovely day.

    xoxo.

    Les.

  • Cucina49 says:

    What an incredibly thoughtful post–I have had many of these same thoughts–we shouldn’t all try to live our lives by the same standards of success and fullness.

  • my head hurts says:

    we should all be happy, however
    I would really appreciate some spiderman underwear,
    that’s all I really need before the world ends.

  • mj monaghan says:

    We have it quite easy compared to 98% of the people living on the planet, yet we complain as much or more. We want to celebrate what we don’t have instead of making the most of what we’re given.

  • The Squishy Monster says:

    a state of “Idiocracy” is what we’re heading towards. That’s what I keep telling people.

  • The Squishy Monster says:

    Well said!!

  • The Squishy Monster says:

    well HA! I’ve learned the secret to YOU happiness =D

  • The Squishy Monster says:

    I hope you’re feeling better! =D

  • The Squishy Monster says:

    I wish we had a subway for that (here). I do some of my best people watching there. We should people watch together sometime =D

  • The Squishy Monster says:

    One of my highlights of the day is blogging so I can appreciate that! I *definitely* feel like most live with so much more than they need.

  • The Squishy Monster says:

    Maybe B.I.G had it right “mo money mo problems.” LOL

  • Lester says:

    I am physically better. ( Sinus infection been fighting for a week) I we have been through a loss before Angie.So It takes time I know Jean’s fineral is saturday..Thank you Angie.

    xoxo.

    Les.

  • The Squishy Monster says:

    I hope all goes well. Stay strong, my friend!!!

  • Lester says:

    Thank you Angie.You are an angel.xxxxoooo
    Les

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